What are References?

References are one of CouchSurfing's key safety features. They are feedback you write that appears on other people's profile that describes the interaction you have had with them. References are for the benefit of other members: in a reference, you communicate information about a member to rest of the CouchSurfing community. Other people can read this information and make an informed decision about who they wish to host, surf with, or meet.

When should I write a reference?

You can write a reference whenever you have learned something about a CouchSurfer that will be informative to the community. Were they a tidy guest? a great storyteller? a thoughtful host?

Please do not leave references for people if you don't yet have useful information to share with the community. If you met a member only briefly, have only spoken online, or know the person in a very unique way (such as a family member), consider first whether what you write will be helpful to other members in their decision-making process.

Finally, remember that references are for sharing information with the community, not for making contact with the member you are leaving the reference for.

What types of references are there?

OK, I'd like to write a reference. What should I write about?

The most important thing to remember is that your reference should be clear, descriptive, and informative to the community. Here are some ideas for topics that are of interest to other CouchSurfers:

• Is there enough information on this member's profile? Do you believe it is accurate?
• Do you believe this member is trustworthy?
• If they hosted you, did you find their home environment safe and welcoming?
• Describe your overall experience. What specific events made you feel that the experience was positive, neutral, or negative?
• Would you want to surf with, host, or meet with this person again?
• What personal qualities stand out about this person? Did you find them talkative? Respectful? Energetic?
• What particular activities did you enjoy sharing with this person?

What does a negative reference mean?

Just like the other CouchSurfing safety features, a negative reference is information that members can use to help make an informed decision. It's up to you to evaluate the information and decide how important you feel it is for your decision. A negative reference isn't a simple sign that a member is not a good CouchSurfer -- it's information about a specific situation that should be evaluated carefully.

Context is very important to evaluating the information. If the surfer and the host both left references for each other, do they share the same opinion about the experience? Do they describe the same events? Could the disagreement have been a clash of culture or identity? Do you think that the behavior described would bother you if you met this person?

Should I write a negative reference?

The vast majority of CouchSurfing experiences are positive. However, negative experiences do happen. CouchSurfing's vision is to bring together people with different perspectives and ideologies, which sometimes leads to disagreements. If at all possible, CouchSurfing encourages its members to evaluate negative encounters and see if any understanding can be reached.

In most situations, we encourage you to begin by contacting the other member privately to discuss the issue. Explain your perspective, listen to theirs, and work towards an understanding. By using clear and honest and empathetic communication, it may be possible to come to a resolution. Be open to the idea that subtle cultural or ideological differences could be the root of your disagreement. Who knows -- if you're able to discuss it and learn about the cause of the conflict, it may end up being a positive or neutral experience after all! We all prefer to learn about cultural differences through friendship, but sometimes even disputes can lead to understanding.

If you feel that the disagreement can't be worked out through discussion -- especially if you felt unsafe -- then leaving a negative reference is the next step. Think first about what you feel the community needs to know. Remember that information in a reference must be descriptive and relevant to a CouchSurfing experience. Do not use abusive or emotional language, and stick to a specific account of your experience. The reference that you leave will reflect on you as well as on the person you're writing about. It's helpful for other members to see that you've considered your opinion carefully and can present it in a level-headed way.

Finally, please remember that CouchSurfing supports the right of all members to tell their side of the story. Be prepared for the other member to leave you a reference describing their version of events. All members will be able to read both accounts and make their own informed judgment of the situation. By leaving an honest reference, you show the community that you care about safety and trust.

Can I leave an anonymous reference?

Nope! Our community holds everyone accountable for their own words. This encourages honesty and open communication between members. Please note that if you make a false profile in order to leave a reference for someone, it is a violation of our Terms of Use and could result in your removal from the community.

How do I edit a reference I left for someone?

If you've gotten to know a friend better after you left them a reference, you can always go back and add more information! Find the reference either on your profile or theirs, and click the small link that says 'Edit.' You can also find the person on your friend list and click 'Update.'

You can also use this feature to delete a reference that you've left. Just set the experience to 'Neutral,' delete the text you've written, and save.

Please remember that editing a reference should not be used as a way of sending a message to another member! References are intended to be informative for the community, not a way of communicating between members.

Can you take a reference off my profile?

Reference are almost never removed by CouchSurfing. Instead, when CouchSurfing considers a reference inappropriate, it will be temporarily hidden from view pending review. The member who left the reference will have the option to update it to meet CouchSurfing's reference guidelines. Once it meets these guidelines, the updated reference will be redisplayed.

References are considered inappropriate by CouchSurfing if they:

• Contain an invitation to write for more details:
  "If you want the whole story, please send me a private message."
• Contain a link to another website:
  "Click here to read my blog entry about what happened."
• Are false according to information in the CouchSurfing system:
  "They were supposed to host me on October 12th, but they never showed up at the meeting place!"  (...but the CouchRequest wasn't sent until November))
• Are repeatedly and unnecessarily updated:
  Aug 1.  "I'm still mad at Joe for not doing the dishes when he stayed at my place."  Aug 2.  "Joe didn't do the dishes at my place, and I also just remembered -- he was really rude to my landlady."  Aug. 3  "Joe's a slob and a jerk, that's all there is to it."
• Are initially positive, but changed in retaliation against another negative reference:
  Dec. 1. Agnes for Caitlin: "Caitlin is a sweet girl and a great host. She lent me her bike while I was in town, and I had a great time!" Dec. 2. Caitlin for Agnes: "Agnes means well, but she's careless and can be selfish. She borrowed my bike and brought it back in terrible condition -- I had to take it in for repairs." Dec. 3. Agnes for Caitlin: "Caitlin is crazy! She says I wrecked her bike but she's a liar, I didn't even use her stupid bike. But she used all my cell phone credit!"
• Are based on speculation:
  "Shannon is racist and spoiled.  If she visited my country, she would offend everyone and even be deported."
• Describe someone else's experience:
    "I've known Martin for five years, and I can say there's no way Carla's reference could be true.  What a liar!)" 
• Side note: It's OK to mention someone who impacted your experience but is not a member of CouchSurfing.  If that person is a member, you should leave the reference for them directly.
  "Diego was nice, but his roommate Sergio made me really uncomfortable."
• Include profanity, abusive or discriminatory language:
  "I swear, Jen is just a typical fat, ignorant American! &*@#!"
• Contain threats or encourages aggressive behavior:
    "If we ever meet up again, trust me, you'll be sorry for kicking my poodle! Everyone who reads this should send her nasty emails.)" 
• Contain private contact information or describe a private medical condition:
  "Rebecca's phone number is 867-5309.  Take that, Rebecca!)"  
• Mention a CouchSurfing staff member or volunteer's performance in their role or appropriateness for their role:
  "Mauricio lives in my town and we've hung out a couple of times.   He's always late, and I don't think he's very respectful of my opinions.   Then I found out that he's a CS Ambassador!  I have to say, this guy is  not a good example of the CS spirit.)"

In very rare circumstances, a reference will be removed all together by CouchSurfing. Examples include:

• When the person leaving the reference has clearly never interacted with the other member at all, except by reading their profile "Hi! You seem nice. Come visit my country!"
• When the reference is only related to a member's work for CouchSurfing "I sent in a question on the Contact Us page, and this guy wrote me back the stupidest response ever. What a loser.")
• When the reference is anonymous (i.e., left from a blank profile that was created only in order to leave the reference)

If you've received a reference that you believe is inappropriate in one of the ways explained above, please contact us (when submitting your question, select the category 'Problem with another member' from the drop-down box).

References that are reported as inappropriate are reviewed by CouchSurfing's Member Disputes and Safety Team. This team is trained, objective, and neutral towards all parties involved in the situation. Unless the situation involves data from our system that can clearly prove one version of events, our team is not able to declare information true or false. Instead, it ensures that references are as fair as possible to both members involved. CouchSurfing retains the right to decide whether or not any reference is considered inappropriate.

Please note that you can only report inappropriate references left on your own profile.

For more information about how disputes are handled by the Member Disputes and Safety Team, please have a look at the Member Disputes FAQ.