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Dating germans?
Posted December 29th, 2012 - 11:30 pm from Oslo, Norway
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Posted December 30th, 2012 - 12:56 am by from Kiel, Germany (Permalink)
I dunno... how is it in Norway? Excuse me if I am mistaken, but from what I heard from a lot of Scandinavians and people from Baltic countries, women (and also men) don't seem to be very serious about their intimate relations. I mean, they just meet someone at a party and have sex with him but it doesn't mean anything to them. In Germany people usually are in relationships and f.e. women who just have sex with an almost stranger would be considered as sluts, just as men who are hitting on a girl very directly are considered as idiots and harrassive. So if you like a girl first thing to remember is not to go like a bull at a gate.

Posted December 30th, 2012 - 1:00 am by from Kiel, Germany (Permalink)
...and es pecially not in Hamburg :D Northern Germans are considered to be very reserved and need a lot of time to be open with strangers ;)

Posted December 30th, 2012 - 8:01 am from Amsterdam, Netherlands
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Posted December 30th, 2012 - 8:38 am by from San Cristobal de las Casas, Mexico (Permalink)
Actually I think we don't have rules. It always depends on the person. As an example: when you feel, the girl is also interested, ask her if she wants to have a coffee with you, that is modest and not too pushy. You can get to know her without a date atmosphere. The best thing are common interests. If you both like a certain activity, ask her to join you. I think Germans don't like this date thing, it makes many people feel uncomfortable as we are not used to it. I think this is the most decent way. Others like to go out, get drunk and get laid. You can never tell. Just don't be too pushy. Be yourself and don't tell her things like: your dad must have stolen stars and put it in your eyes. Most people don't like that cheesy stuff. Actually I find it really difficult in Germany. Fortunately I am going back to Mexico :D

Posted December 30th, 2012 - 11:27 am by from Kiel, Germany (Permalink)
Wooaahhh... someone agrees with me!! I am completely flashed :D

Just wanted to add that I have never had a date in my life, I mean like they have in American movies ;)

Posted January 9th, 2013 - 11:24 pm by from Oslo, Norway (Permalink)
You know, i like to dance, but its weird sometimes to go to a german disco. there are many people coming, who seem to have no wish to dance with others, they stare out in nothingness and do their best to avoid the gaze of others. Or, typically for girls, they dance with each other or with some other friends, in a circle. Its a really weird form of partying with other people, I think.

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Posted January 9th, 2013 - 11:45 pm by from Stockholm, Sweden (Permalink)
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Posted January 9th, 2013 - 11:48 pm from Stockholm, Sweden
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Posted January 9th, 2013 - 11:51 pm by from Kiel, Germany (Permalink)
Maybe they are just shy... actually speaking for myself, dancing in front of others makes me feel very uncomfortable. I don't know how to explain... dancing is such an intimate thing, and most of the people don't really know how to do it... it gives others so many options to criticize you. So probably girls are dancing with their girlfriends to protect themselves, and people avoid to look others in the eyes for fear of being laughed at.

Posted January 10th, 2013 - 3:34 am from Stockholm, Sweden
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Posted January 10th, 2013 - 9:50 am by from San Cristobal de las Casas, Mexico (Permalink)
Madelaine, that's an interesting aspect! Dancing with other people in other countries it is so natural, but as a German, I also feel so uncomfortable dancing with a stranger! As I've lived in Latin America I was confronted with that very often. I just can't dance with a stranger. They often consider me impolite, because I refuse when they ask me. Also when I am drunk I only dance with friends. Maybe we always have in our head: "what is this guy's intention?" And speaking of Mexicans, you never know -don't get me wrong, I love Mexico and its people, but some guys there think that "güeras" (blond foreigners) are easy to get laid.


I just remembered a situation in a bar in Mexico, where I went outside because all my friends where dancing and I wasn't up for it. Outside there was a very drunk guy who asked me to dance with him and I said no. In the end he called me racist against Mexicans (all my friends and my boyfriend at that time were Mexicans, hahaha) and a waiter finally told him to go.


So the question is: why do we feel uncomforable dancing with or in front of strangers?
Is it because we feel it is very intimate? Is there something sexual about dancing? And if so, why do other cultures not have a problem with it?

Posted January 13th, 2013 - 10:23 pm from Santo Andre, Brazil
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Posted January 15th, 2013 - 11:06 am by from Kiel, Germany (Permalink)
yepp that sounds brazilian to me

find out your and his balance between talking and listining :)

Posted December 30th, 2012 - 12:03 pm from Merano, Italy
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Posted January 1st, 2013 - 3:28 pm by from Tel Aviv-Yafo, Israel (Permalink)
BINE OF ITALY are you sure?
What the hekk?

so how do people get to know each other in Germany if they think the person is an idiot? lol


Posted January 1st, 2013 - 11:11 pm by from Kiel, Germany (Permalink)
@Sivian: Because Germans don't do "dates", they get to know each other through common friends, parties, same hobbies, university or jobs etc.

Btw. Renni Puri: "he was only talking about sex and sex" Lol ;)

Posted January 2nd, 2013 - 1:06 am by from Tangerang, Indonesia (Permalink)
Madelaine : Yes, indeed..after ignoring him few times, he start to understand and start to talk in serious..I win!!

Posted January 2nd, 2013 - 7:49 am from Merano, Italy
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Posted January 2nd, 2013 - 12:17 pm from Cologne, Germany
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Posted January 5th, 2013 - 9:13 pm by from Tel Aviv-Yafo, Israel (Permalink)
some most german girls and boys will prefer one night stand instead of starting a relationship?
that's what you're saying?

Posted December 31st, 2012 - 2:35 am by from Tangerang, Indonesia (Permalink)
if i may share, i was dating in long-distance relationship with a men from German, at the beginning he just talking about sex and sex, and i just ignored it..every time the discussion going to that line, i always try to skip it and again just ignore, after couple months i try to talk what he want and what i want till we get what we want..

just couple months in-relationship then he committed for serious and yes, we're getting serious but since we have a different thought/faith for life..we ended the relationship..

just follow your intuition, don't make it express and be genuine also be yourself :)

goodluck..

Posted December 31st, 2012 - 3:30 pm from Frankfurt am Main, Germany
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Posted January 4th, 2013 - 2:01 pm from Hamburg, Germany
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Posted January 5th, 2013 - 9:30 pm by from Oslo, Norway (Permalink)
So you mean they stay only with their friends in bars?

Mmm no its not quite the same in nordic countries. In norway the openness is directly connected to drinking alcohol. And most drink quite substantial when they go out. Also in norway there are substantial regional differences. People are mainly closed in the south east parts of the country, and even there its not as "bad" as in germany.

Posted January 7th, 2013 - 11:04 am from Hamburg, Germany
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Posted January 8th, 2013 - 9:55 am by from Kiel, Germany (Permalink)
nice thread,

every individual has got different intentions, emotions, thoughts, wills, expectations etc. to get to know another person, the probability that two people are matching these at a specific moment, is declining...

not only in germany, communication skills changed dramatically; while online dating becomes more and more familiar, many people aren´t able to speak in whole sentences anymore.

on the other hand, why should someone risk to get a no in front of his/her friends from another person at a bar...?

if you ask me, it is obvious that for many dating became more and more benifit orientated which erodes the original thought of an relationship.

so you should not to be too surprised about the incline of requierements in establishing a relationship.

don´t give up and good luck

Posted January 8th, 2013 - 11:50 am by from Karlsruhe, Germany (Permalink)
"Over here, it costs so much effort to the guys to convince themselves to make a move that they are totally devastated if you decide not to interact with them (mostly because they really appear uptight, desperate or are pick-up artists :-)"

Sure it costs some effort to the guys, but it is also fun to get in touch with new people. Even if its just for a random talk.
My motto: Make a fool of oneself, once a day and you learn how to make a natural move !

Posted January 9th, 2013 - 11:15 pm from Basel, Switzerland
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