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Posted September 21st, 2012 - 3:14 pm by from Ottawa, Canada (Permalink)
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Posted September 21st, 2012 - 3:17 pm from Saint-Brieuc, France
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Posted September 21st, 2012 - 3:18 pm from Ottawa, Canada
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Posted September 21st, 2012 - 6:04 pm from Antwerp, Belgium
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Posted September 21st, 2012 - 7:16 pm by from Hannover, Germany (Permalink)
Great joke!

Posted September 21st, 2012 - 9:07 pm from Camden, United States
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Posted September 21st, 2012 - 10:20 pm from Ottawa, Canada
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Posted September 24th, 2012 - 7:47 pm from Camden, United States
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Posted September 25th, 2012 - 1:38 am from Ottawa, Canada
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Posted September 26th, 2012 - 11:36 pm from Ottawa, Canada
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Posted September 27th, 2012 - 2:17 pm by from Helmond, Netherlands (Permalink)
Haha me tooo

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Posted September 28th, 2012 - 10:52 pm by from Kuenzelsau, Germany (Permalink)
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Posted September 29th, 2012 - 1:07 am from Berlin, Germany
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Posted September 29th, 2012 - 4:09 am from Daylesford, Australia
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Posted September 29th, 2012 - 3:30 pm from Ottawa, Canada
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Posted September 29th, 2012 - 6:39 am from Bad Fallingbostel, Germany
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Posted September 29th, 2012 - 3:18 pm by from Kuenzelsau, Germany (Permalink)
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Posted September 29th, 2012 - 3:25 pm from Camden, United States
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Posted September 29th, 2012 - 7:58 pm from Kuenzelsau, Germany
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Posted September 29th, 2012 - 9:22 pm from Bad Fallingbostel, Germany
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Posted September 29th, 2012 - 10:16 pm from Kuenzelsau, Germany
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Posted September 30th, 2012 - 2:59 am by from Daylesford, Australia (Permalink)
thanks for the welcome back, dear schorsch.
got a bit bored with things here and we had a very rough winter, so i went into hibernation and had a little affair, instead. back now.

here's risque joke for you, but first, a disclaimer:

the following joke does not reflect my opinion of all males and their copulating skills. especially not that of my very esteemed male friends here, who all appear, with out a shadow of doubt, virile, considerate and experienced lovers.
but then, what would i know. here we go:

she was standing in the kitchen, preparing their usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast. wearing only the skimpy t-shirt she slept in.
as he walked in, she turned and said softly: 'you gotta make love to me this very moment.'
hardly believing his luck, he swept her up immediately and gave his all, right there on the kitchen counter.

afterwards, she hopped off and returned to the stove.
happy, but puzzled, he asked: 'what was that all about?'
she said: 'the egg timer is broken'.

with love
from australia
:>) roo


Posted September 30th, 2012 - 4:04 am by from New Delhi, India (Permalink)
Depends...dear Virginia.......here we like a 15 min egg...

Posted September 30th, 2012 - 4:17 am from Walla Walla, United States
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Posted September 30th, 2012 - 5:03 am by from Daylesford, Australia (Permalink)
hmmmmm
getting quite an education here, dear sudhir and chris:
10 minutes in the us, 15 in india, aaawww!
now, in china they have 100 and even 1000 year old eggs
sounds a bit strenuous, that.
:>)
more jokes, please

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Posted September 30th, 2012 - 6:24 pm by from Ottawa, Canada (Permalink)
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Posted September 30th, 2012 - 11:56 pm from Tourlaville, France
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Posted October 1st, 2012 - 7:01 am from Sydney, Australia
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Posted October 1st, 2012 - 5:59 pm from Camden, United States
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Posted October 1st, 2012 - 6:05 pm from Camden, United States
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Posted October 2nd, 2012 - 12:50 am from Alicante, Spain
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Posted October 2nd, 2012 - 12:59 am from Alicante, Spain
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Posted October 2nd, 2012 - 1:41 am by from Langley, United States (Permalink)
Classic!!!

I've passed it on...

Cherie

Posted October 2nd, 2012 - 5:28 pm from Ottawa, Canada
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Posted October 3rd, 2012 - 6:52 am from Alicante, Spain
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Posted October 3rd, 2012 - 6:53 am from Alicante, Spain
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Posted October 3rd, 2012 - 7:00 am from Alicante, Spain
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Posted October 3rd, 2012 - 7:02 am from Alicante, Spain
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Posted October 3rd, 2012 - 7:32 am from Broughshane, Northern Ireland
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Posted October 3rd, 2012 - 2:17 pm from Camden, United States
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Posted October 3rd, 2012 - 2:22 pm from Ottawa, Canada
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Posted October 3rd, 2012 - 2:51 pm from Portland, United States
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Posted October 3rd, 2012 - 3:05 pm from Camden, United States
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Posted October 3rd, 2012 - 3:06 pm from Camden, United States
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Posted October 3rd, 2012 - 5:27 pm from Tourlaville, France
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Posted October 3rd, 2012 - 7:53 pm from Alicante, Spain
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Posted October 3rd, 2012 - 8:38 pm from Tourlaville, France
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Posted October 4th, 2012 - 12:36 am from Alicante, Spain
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Posted October 4th, 2012 - 2:04 am from Tourlaville, France
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Posted October 4th, 2012 - 8:56 am from Alicante, Spain
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Posted October 4th, 2012 - 9:20 am by from Asmara, Eritrea (Permalink)
A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his grandmother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location.
Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half but accidentally sends her the bottom half.
He's really worried when he realizes that he sent the wrong half, but then remembers how bad his grandmother's eyesight is and hopes she won't notice.
A few weeks later, he receives a letter from this grandmother. It says, "Thank you for the picture. Change your hair style... it makes your nose look too short."

Posted October 4th, 2012 - 9:53 am by from Tashkent, Uzbekistan (Permalink)
we have a site called:
http://www.anekdot.ru/an/an1209/j120912.html#24
am just curious which anecdote you've chosen
Halima

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Posted November 21st, 2012 - 7:22 am by from Santa Rosa, United States (Permalink)
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Posted November 21st, 2012 - 7:26 am by from Santa Rosa, United States (Permalink)
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Posted October 4th, 2012 - 10:23 am by from Tashkent, Uzbekistan (Permalink)
Some of them:
- Do you speak English? - Yesлибы…
-Какая сволочь принесла на свадьбу семечки? Так ни капли и не выпили.
-Интим не предлагать - могу не отказаться…
-Вы тоже ночью, после того, как выключили свет, светите мобильником до кровати?



Posted October 5th, 2012 - 12:05 am from Alicante, Spain
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Posted October 5th, 2012 - 1:56 am from Kuenzelsau, Germany
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Posted October 5th, 2012 - 4:58 am by from New Delhi, India (Permalink)
Flaminia.....I have to say this, but your country really looks after its own......

In India, we're getting there....its all happening, but it seems its not that well organised......yet.

Posted October 9th, 2012 - 4:42 pm from Camden, United States
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Posted October 10th, 2012 - 2:28 am from Sydney, Australia
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Posted October 10th, 2012 - 3:07 am by from Langley, United States (Permalink)
"My wife and I had 30 wonderful years: then we met each other".

Cherie

Posted October 10th, 2012 - 8:59 am from Alicante, Spain
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Posted October 10th, 2012 - 9:54 pm from Camden, United States
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Posted October 11th, 2012 - 1:19 am from Sydney, Australia
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Posted October 11th, 2012 - 4:37 pm from Camden, United States
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Posted October 11th, 2012 - 5:02 pm from Ottawa, Canada
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Posted October 11th, 2012 - 5:57 pm from Broughshane, Northern Ireland
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Posted October 11th, 2012 - 10:43 pm from Ottawa, Canada
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Posted October 12th, 2012 - 1:51 am by from Daylesford, Australia (Permalink)
short bar romance in nth queensland, australia:

'g'day gorgeous. how 'bout a root?'
'piss off, ya smooth talkin' bastard'

:>)

Posted October 12th, 2012 - 5:43 am from Ottawa, Canada
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Posted October 12th, 2012 - 5:50 am by from Daylesford, Australia (Permalink)
wouldn't you like to know, eh, matey?

so busy. off now to a wine tasting for the upcoming flower festival. haaaard work. hick.
:>)

Posted October 12th, 2012 - 5:58 am from Ottawa, Canada
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Posted October 12th, 2012 - 5:47 pm from Camden, United States
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Posted October 13th, 2012 - 5:58 am by from Daylesford, Australia (Permalink)
two blokes arrive in a country town, feeling a bit frisky, and don't know anyone.
they see a church and one of them says 'no worries, mate, just wait here' and goes in, straight into the confession box.
there, he admits that he has been giving into the temptations of the flesh. the priest wants to know who with but the bloke is to shy to tell.
so the father asks him:

was it mrs bridges from the general store?
no father
one of the lawson twins from the local dairy?
no father
not that naughty widow patterson from the bakery?
no father
alright then. 10 hail marys and don't do it again...

bloke comes out of the church grinning and says to his mate:
all set, cobber, got the names, off we go. general store
first....

:>)roo

Posted October 15th, 2012 - 5:08 am from Walla Walla, United States
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Posted October 15th, 2012 - 11:22 am from Kuenzelsau, Germany
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Posted October 15th, 2012 - 2:56 pm from Walla Walla, United States
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Posted October 15th, 2012 - 3:26 pm from Camden, United States
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Posted October 15th, 2012 - 3:51 pm by from Tashkent, Uzbekistan (Permalink)
DARREL,HAHAHAHA
Some 70 years ago new neighbours were coming to the 5 storey building house,where all lived friendly almost with each other,Koreans preserve some marinades with a strong smell.All tolerated a year, then came and say:Hi, KIM seems that you are a good guy, forgive us we do not anymore throw stones into your window, do not tear in peaces your drying clothes...
OK, answered the Korean, let's from now live friendly!Forgive me too. I do not anymore pee in the borscht of all of you in the kitchen..
H

Posted October 15th, 2012 - 9:56 pm from Kuenzelsau, Germany
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Posted October 15th, 2012 - 10:25 pm from Kuenzelsau, Germany
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Posted October 16th, 2012 - 5:00 am by from Tashkent, Uzbekistan (Permalink)
Darrell,the ends are somehow different
The wife who gathered urin was not educated, after the Doc's conclusion she brings urine home,asking WHY, she answered the doc said there is sugar.
about docs:there was a competition among them.Which countries docs are the best ones the finalists were from the USA,Germany and Russia,they must define only due skeletons who,age,what illnesses suffered etc..
who has won? ideas???
H


Posted October 16th, 2012 - 9:22 am from Alicante, Spain
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Posted October 16th, 2012 - 11:18 am by from Tashkent, Uzbekistan (Permalink)
I've just read this:
@"Лидеры по численности населения в мире: 1. Китай, 2. Индия, 3. Facebook, 4. США, 5. Индонезия, 6. Twitter, 7.Бразилия"...
Halima

Posted November 18th, 2012 - 11:47 am from Alicante, Spain
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Posted November 18th, 2012 - 8:50 pm from Sydney, Australia
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Posted November 19th, 2012 - 4:19 am from Tourlaville, France
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Posted November 19th, 2012 - 4:24 am from Portland, United States
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Posted November 19th, 2012 - 4:24 am from Ottawa, Canada
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Posted November 19th, 2012 - 10:30 am from Tourlaville, France
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Posted November 19th, 2012 - 11:11 pm from Invercargill, New Zealand
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Posted November 19th, 2012 - 7:16 pm from Alicante, Spain
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Posted November 19th, 2012 - 11:32 pm by from Daylesford, Australia (Permalink)
not all dumbs are blond

:>)

Posted November 20th, 2012 - 12:46 am from Ottawa, Canada
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Posted November 20th, 2012 - 7:36 pm from Seattle, United States
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Posted November 20th, 2012 - 7:40 pm from Ottawa, Canada
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Posted November 20th, 2012 - 7:58 pm from Ottawa, Canada
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Posted October 11th, 2012 - 1:33 am from Stevensville, United States
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Posted October 15th, 2012 - 10:33 pm from Kuenzelsau, Germany
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Posted November 21st, 2012 - 7:28 am by from Santa Rosa, United States (Permalink)
this is in reply to the first joke told by YWC_YES_WE_CAN:


The Jew? Why a jew?


Anne

Posted November 21st, 2012 - 4:12 am from Invercargill, New Zealand
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Posted November 21st, 2012 - 8:48 am from Tourlaville, France
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Posted November 21st, 2012 - 4:55 am from Invercargill, New Zealand
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Posted November 21st, 2012 - 8:58 am from Invercargill, New Zealand
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Posted November 21st, 2012 - 7:28 am from Tourlaville, France
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Posted November 21st, 2012 - 11:29 am from Tourlaville, France
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Posted November 21st, 2012 - 10:45 am from Ottawa, Canada
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Posted November 21st, 2012 - 7:19 pm from Invercargill, New Zealand
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Posted November 21st, 2012 - 7:09 pm from Sydney, Australia
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Posted November 21st, 2012 - 7:31 pm from Invercargill, New Zealand
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Posted November 21st, 2012 - 7:41 pm from Tourlaville, France
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Posted November 23rd, 2012 - 5:11 pm from Alicante, Spain
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Posted November 23rd, 2012 - 6:51 pm from Rotterdam, Netherlands
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Posted November 23rd, 2012 - 8:14 pm from Camden, United States
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Posted November 23rd, 2012 - 10:43 pm from Sydney, Australia
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Posted November 23rd, 2012 - 11:25 pm from Tourlaville, France
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Posted November 24th, 2012 - 12:24 am from Invercargill, New Zealand
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Posted November 25th, 2012 - 1:43 am from Sydney, Australia
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Posted November 25th, 2012 - 10:18 am from Alicante, Spain
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Posted November 25th, 2012 - 9:13 pm from Sydney, Australia
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Posted November 25th, 2012 - 10:23 pm from Alicante, Spain
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Posted December 2nd, 2012 - 2:59 pm from Ottawa, Canada
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Posted December 2nd, 2012 - 3:28 pm from Ottawa, Canada
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Posted December 2nd, 2012 - 8:21 pm by from Ottawa, Canada (Permalink)
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Posted December 5th, 2012 - 2:22 am from Walla Walla, United States
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Posted December 5th, 2012 - 8:49 am from Sydney, Australia
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Posted December 5th, 2012 - 9:19 am from Alicante, Spain
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Posted December 5th, 2012 - 2:52 pm from Ottawa, Canada
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Posted December 5th, 2012 - 3:52 pm from Alicante, Spain
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Posted December 5th, 2012 - 4:52 pm from Rotterdam, Netherlands
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Posted December 5th, 2012 - 4:57 pm from Ottawa, Canada
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Posted December 5th, 2012 - 7:45 pm from Alicante, Spain
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Posted December 5th, 2012 - 7:54 pm from Victoria, Canada
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Posted December 5th, 2012 - 8:04 pm from Portland, United States
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Posted December 5th, 2012 - 8:10 pm from Rotterdam, Netherlands
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Posted December 5th, 2012 - 8:12 pm from Rotterdam, Netherlands
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Posted December 5th, 2012 - 8:14 pm from Victoria, Canada
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Posted December 5th, 2012 - 8:23 pm from Portland, United States
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Posted December 5th, 2012 - 9:51 pm from Camden, United States
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Posted December 6th, 2012 - 12:54 am by from Daylesford, Australia (Permalink)
in a psych hospital, two psychiatrists pass each other in a corridor.
the first one says 'good morning'.
the second one walks on pondering: 'i wonder what he meant by that?'

:>)

Posted December 6th, 2012 - 12:58 am by from Daylesford, Australia (Permalink)
up in heaven
st peter is chatting with the virgin mary:
'so, what is it like to be the mother of world's most talked-about prophet?'
the virgin replied:'actually, we were hoping he would become a doctor...'

(lapsed catholic) roo
:>)

Posted December 6th, 2012 - 4:04 am from Ottawa, Canada
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Posted December 6th, 2012 - 10:34 am from Alicante, Spain
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Posted January 14th, 2013 - 3:42 am from Ottawa, Canada
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Posted January 15th, 2013 - 5:22 pm from Ottawa, Canada
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Posted January 15th, 2013 - 6:38 pm from Ottawa, Canada
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Posted January 22nd, 2013 - 7:41 pm from Ottawa, Canada
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Posted January 24th, 2013 - 12:15 am from Camden, United States
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Posted January 31st, 2013 - 3:45 am from Ottawa, Canada
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Posted January 31st, 2013 - 4:44 am by from Daylesford, Australia (Permalink)
ha!
on the 3rd of march, i shall cater for my friend jean's wedding reception.

aged 83, she is marrying her sweetheart chas, 79.
jean didn't really want to get married, as she rather enjoys the idea of living in sin. chas, more conservative, insists on doing the right thing, doesn't want to be seen as an old bastard who won't marry the woman he's been shacked up with, for a year or so.

they are very obviously very much in love, a true joy to behold. it is going to be a lovely wedding.

:>) from the land of sprightly roos

Posted January 31st, 2013 - 7:14 am from Portland, United States
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Posted February 1st, 2013 - 2:34 am from Sydney, Australia
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Posted February 1st, 2013 - 3:17 am by from Daylesford, Australia (Permalink)
i tried to find a recipe joke, to finish off this thread, traditional style. couldn't remember one. so, you get this one, instead:

'what the hell do you think you are doing' yelled the husband when he found his wife in bed with a stranger.
'there you are said the wife to her lover 'i told you he was thick'.

:>)