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Why aren't you happier?
Posted November 23rd, 2012 - 12:50 pm by from New York, United States (Permalink)
just asking

Judy

Posted November 23rd, 2012 - 1:00 pm from Somerville, United States
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Posted November 23rd, 2012 - 1:20 pm from Saint-Brieuc, France
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Posted November 23rd, 2012 - 1:38 pm by from Welwyn Garden City, England (Permalink)
I am very happy. I go around the house singing. I am glad that no one has to listen to it! I have loads of choices. I give myself utube fixes with songs I know and musical theatre I have seen.

When we were young and cold I hoped to be in a warm house when I grew up. I can make this house warm and if I wear my hat in the cooler house, I can help "war child" or whatever...

I look back and am amazed at the things that I have done, because the doctors wanted to institutionalise me when I was 21. I proved them wrong and worked with tenacity in this capacity.

Thank you world and genes for giving me backbone.

I just wrote a story "Being 8" and anyone reading this could see a "winner".

Welcome to my world.

Joy from Val in Welwyn Garden City, England

Posted November 23rd, 2012 - 2:43 pm by from Venice, Italy (Permalink)
Judy,
I think your question is not "are you happy" but about being happier than this:-)
Of course I am grateful for what I have : daughters,friends, relatives , warm house, good food..

But actually, I feel that I could be happier than this. But really I still don't know if that would depend on me or on the context I am in.
.
I can't see at the moment how could I change. I am reading books about personal growth... do you have any to recommend?

Thank you judy for the question and thanks every body for the answers
daniela

Posted November 23rd, 2012 - 4:25 pm from Victoria, Canada
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Posted November 23rd, 2012 - 6:47 pm from Rotterdam, Netherlands
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Posted November 23rd, 2012 - 7:50 pm from Seattle, United States
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Posted November 23rd, 2012 - 11:00 pm from Bad Fallingbostel, Germany
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Posted November 24th, 2012 - 4:28 am from Coventry, England
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Posted November 23rd, 2012 - 9:52 pm from Tulle, France
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Posted November 23rd, 2012 - 10:40 pm from Sydney, Australia
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Posted November 24th, 2012 - 7:52 am from Tacoma, United States
This member profile has been deactivated

Posted November 24th, 2012 - 10:57 am from Alicante, Spain
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Posted November 24th, 2012 - 2:03 pm from New York, United States
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Posted November 24th, 2012 - 2:15 pm by from Curitiba, Brazil (Permalink)
Why?? because I am too busy to be happier.

But then I stop, take a time, take my bicycle, take a rain shower, people smile at me wet - and I know I am made to be happy.

@ Ronit, you shine!

Posted November 24th, 2012 - 10:29 pm by from London, England (Permalink)
Whoa, I just joined the group and the first thing I see is a question from Judy. Well that answers the question anyway: I wasn't happier because I hadn't seen any 'Judyisms' for a long time ...

Posted November 25th, 2012 - 12:21 am by from New York, United States (Permalink)
Peter,thanks for the laugh. I needed that!

Posted November 25th, 2012 - 1:06 am by from London, England (Permalink)
Seriously, though, I think the reason I'm not happier is because I am not a dog.

This insight came to me this morning. Let me explain. On Thursday I used my last few pounds to book a place at Designival in Liverpool and to get the cheapest overnight bus ticket to where it was being held. After various missed connecions, almost no sleep for two nights, lots of running in the rain to get to the right bus or train station, I finally came back znd emerged from six hours in a cramped bus seat, at London Victoria at 6 am ... and in my half-asleep state saw a big, black Chow Chow bounding along the road.

And I suddenly realised that, for a dog, this whole journey would have been one long, enjoyable walkies. It was only my dumb human mind that insisted that the journey ought to go smoothly to plan and became miserable because so many things had gone wrong.

Human's view: Aargh! I've missed my bus by 1 minute!
Dog's view: That was a great run! Shall we do another one?

So that's my answer: to be happier I need to think like a dog more.

Posted November 25th, 2012 - 1:17 am by from New York, United States (Permalink)
so glad you are posting here,keep it up!

J

Posted November 25th, 2012 - 3:45 am from Sydney, Australia
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Posted November 25th, 2012 - 4:11 am by from Daylesford, Australia (Permalink)
oi
i'm as happy as a pig in shit
:>) for no particular reason


Posted November 25th, 2012 - 4:28 pm from Ottawa, Canada
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Posted November 25th, 2012 - 5:07 pm from Ottawa, Canada
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Posted November 25th, 2012 - 9:40 pm from Sydney, Australia
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Posted November 26th, 2012 - 4:49 am by from Tashkent, Uzbekistan (Permalink)
hi Peter,
liked your site, seems that you have the deutsch blood too? it is made with some deutsch features...
@"I wasn't happier because I hadn't seen any 'Lloydisms' for a long time ...
hmmm.... undergrounds in the world... you must enjoy our Tashkent metro then,called the most beautiful in the world.
Halima

Posted November 26th, 2012 - 8:13 am by from London, England (Permalink)
Thanks Halima, Yes, I see from the internet that the Metro of Tashkent is a modern marvel. I would be very happy to visit. Is it announced yet when the fourth line will open?

To answer your question, no I have no Deutsch in me, as far as I know! (Although I do like the German language.) I am just an Anglo-Welsh mongrel ... :-)

Posted November 26th, 2012 - 8:35 am by from Tashkent, Uzbekistan (Permalink)
hi Peter,
Have heard your podcasts.
and now not wonder about your today's interests...
A new exhibition in London makes clear that death is never far from our collective consciousness.
econ.st/10zD7Tx
hmmmm,
"When Shall we Meet Again?", c.1900 Source: The Richard Harris Collection/Wellcome Images Tibetan Trident with skull, hammered brass with gold and silver gilding,...
Halima

Posted November 26th, 2012 - 8:59 am by from London, England (Permalink)
Halima, Yes, death is all over the place. But as Elton John sang, "Life isn't everything." I read a few days ago of Edwarda O'Bara who died after forty-two years in a coma. Merely being alive is not enough for happiness (to return to Judy's theme). I often think that there is a continuum between being physically dead and the ideal of being fully alive. Every time I fail to seize an opportunity because of self-limiting fear, I feel that part of my potential life has died. For many years working in corporate offices I felt half-dead: since my full-time work suddenly ended in February, I have felt much more alive, although my growing debts ensure that I am unhappy. Which is better, to feel alive but fear the bailiff's knock? Or to be comfortably numb as an inert cog in a soul-denying corporate machine? We each find our own answer according to circumstances.

Posted November 25th, 2012 - 10:04 pm by from Nyon, Switzerland (Permalink)
I would be much happier if I hadn't a dying kitty on my lap

:''((

Claudia

Posted November 26th, 2012 - 2:40 am from Victoria, Canada
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Posted November 26th, 2012 - 4:53 am by from Soldotna, United States (Permalink)
Just what is happiness? What exactly does it feel like?

Is it contentment..? Giddiness..? A combination of the two? Something else?

Not that it's possible, but I wouldn't change how my life has played out, especially as I approach my 60th birthday. But I'm not content, there's still too much to see and do. I do feel somewhat, I don't know, fulfilled I suppose, when I travel or engage in something physically or mentally challenging. I guess it's a feeling of really being alive.

And I do have occasions when I know that even with my mediocre abilities, that I think I've witnessed or participated in one of the cooler events that occurred on the planet at that particular moment. Those moments are completely joyful and yes, I feel giddy then. But that feeling is fleeting.

For those of us without a significant other in our lives, it's hard to imagine being truly happy without being in love, or at least that seems to be the expectation of society and our friends (well, my friends anyway). But as I look at my friends with partners, I'd say only a few seem completely happy. Nothing else in my life is as tepid as this aspect. It's not for the lack of trying and that pursuit has still been mostly fun if not ultimately disappointing

Am I happy? As most of you, I was born in a place relatively safe and free from want. So far I have my health and still have a few functioning brain cells.

I have no reason not to be happy.





Posted November 26th, 2012 - 5:12 am from Goulburn, Australia
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Posted November 26th, 2012 - 9:26 am from Sydney, Australia
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Posted November 26th, 2012 - 6:20 pm by from Soldotna, United States (Permalink)
Hi David and Ray,

Just to be clear, I do live and enjoy my life completely and have no worries about being single. So far, I have my health and enough so that I have yet to phase out any activity that I've been enjoying since I was young. I have some solid and close friendships with both men and women. The reality is that I live in a relatively isolated small town, work in extremely remote and tiny villages for months at a time and then travel for a few months most every year. My lifestyle and circumstance has not been condusive to finding/establishing a relationship. And OK, i might be a little quirky. But I like my life so much that I can't seem to change anything for the sake of finding a partner. As much as it seems wonderful to think that just living life and enjoying my status will magically bring that special someone into it, well it hasn't happened yet. Not that there haven't been options. Just not the right one.

Not having a partner may/may not subtract from my overall sense of happiness, I really don't know. I don't go about my day worrying about it, but certainly do wonder on occasion. The rest of my life is really about as peachy as it could be.



Posted November 26th, 2012 - 6:39 pm from Portland, United States
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Posted November 26th, 2012 - 4:03 pm from Delaware, United States
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Posted November 26th, 2012 - 7:44 pm by from Glen Ridge, United States (Permalink)
I am happy enough - but happiness is over-rated.

I find engagement and meaning more important, and interestingly "happiness" research is bearing this out.

http://www.learnoutloud.com/content/blog/archives/2012/04/15_best_psychol.html

Posted November 26th, 2012 - 8:17 pm from Ottawa, Canada
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Posted November 26th, 2012 - 8:20 pm from Thornbury, England
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Posted November 27th, 2012 - 2:26 pm from Sydney, Australia
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Posted November 27th, 2012 - 5:06 pm from Ottawa, Canada
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Posted November 27th, 2012 - 7:02 pm from Thornbury, England
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Posted November 27th, 2012 - 10:26 pm from Sydney, Australia
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