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Can someone help me get out of here ?
Posted June 5th, 2011 - 7:50 pm by from Chandigarh, India (Permalink)
Can someone help me get out of here(India) ?

I'm Gay & I'm so lonely!
I will be turn 29 years like after one month. My problem is..actually I have lot of problems because I'm gay, I have no friends (No one; 0 friends), I have no talents ( I'm not good in sports, not good in drawing, ..nothing! ) I'm not muscular like most of other boys, I feel so lonely! I'm working & I only have one friend(colleague) at work, My life is horrible ,I have no social life. I'm going to office 5 days a week & on weekend I'm home alone all day! I'm sleeping most of the time or I'm on youtube! I'm all alone inside my room! I have no body to go out have fun just I'm so bored & lonely. No one likes me, even my own family members & they hurt me so much. I think they know probably I'm gay & my older sister even asked me one time that why the hell I live in this world, she told me that I can't fight like other boys, I can't play football or any sport, I have no friends, no social life & she told me that why don't you just die! I don't know whether she really meant it or not ..but I couldn't believe it, I came home & I cried so much. It's a usual regular thing in my life. When my dad came to know I’m GAY they thrown my out from home so afterthat I came into came in different city. I wish every day & every hour I die.. why the hell I'm living in this world. I really really wanted to suicide , but I couldn't do it. One reason is I have no guts & the other reason is I love my mum. I think she cares about me but I'm not sure if she really loves me.
now I came to know Why do so many gays self hate? Bcoz I do the same.
Gays are hated in INDIA so I’m hiding my sexuality in front of others that I don’t like. I hate INDIA as people will hate you whne they will come to know about you that’s why I have planned to moved from here. Is there anyone who can help me???

Posted June 14th, 2011 - 8:25 am by from Vancouver, Canada (Permalink)
So sorry to hear that you're having a bad time... but, don't worry, it gets better. And, Canada is a great place for you to come to be free. And, it's not that difficult to get into... But, a few things before people can start to help you.
1) Fill out your profile. Even if it is hard for you, try very hard to think about your talents, strengths, interests and what you could help other people with. I think you're a pretty strong and brave person to look for alternatives to your situation. Maybe you could provide advice to people looking to travel to India?

2) What is your education background? Do you have unique educational/professional skills? Do you speak a lot of languages? It's easy to come to Canada if you can prove that you have skills that no Canadian looking in the same market could have. Even if you're doing office work, but can speak three or four languages, you've got a chance to immigrate.

3) You could also consider applying as a refugee, but you need to prove that you're in danger. I am not sure how this would work. I would suggest researching this online.

4) What is your money situation like? If you've got around $40,000 CND, you could go to a college in Canada for two years... or with $100,000 go to university for four years, and you could then apply for residency. Once you've got a Canadian education, it is very easy for you to work here, to stay here, and to get your citizenship within two years after graduation. There may be scholarships. I know an organization you could contact that would help assess you to see if you're a good candidate for Canada.... or, to at least give you some suggestions about where you could go. I can't advertise here, but message me and I will give you their contact information. Just remember that they will not help you get to Canada if they don't think you're a good match.

5) Have you tried contacting queer organizations in India? I know there is a community in Delhi (which is not far from you). Could you re-locate into a bigger city in Delhi? Post in the Delhi group, and maybe someone could help you.

6) I am not a professional, but it sounds like you could have depression...this is a very serious illness, and you need to find a doctor who will treat you for that, and understand it. I don't know how the mental health system works in India, and I don't know your options. But, you should see a doctor, and tell them how you're feeling. If you're worried about an Indian doctor being judgemental, do your research - there must be someone who understands queers issues and mental health. If you feel like you can't find this from a local doctor, try to find a western doctor. I don't know what your financial situation is like.

Anyways, hang in there. =) Reach out to Queer Delhi, and tell them what you're going through. More people there would be able to give you better information (such as which doctors to visit, and how to join the scene).

And, remember, you don't need talent or muscles to be a good candidate for dating!!! You just need a big heart, and to be yourself. You'll find someone...but, I think you'd have to go to Delhi.

And, I don't know your money situation....but, go to Delhi, and meet some people! The queer community in Canada is incredibly welcoming, and I am sure the one in Delhi is too (if not moreso than here because it is so hard to be gay in India).

So, good luck. You have lots of choices, and you will be able to pull yourself out of this!

Unfortunately, I am travelling right now, and I can't answer a lot of questions. But, I hope this helps!

Posted June 14th, 2011 - 8:52 am by from Vancouver, Canada (Permalink)

I wish I could help you, too. Adding to what Samantha says, you can also reach Delhi Queer people by phone. Do not get upset if you do not have means to go to there.


Hope things get better soon! How important to organize everywhere! And it is equally important for Canada too as Harper government shows its teeth to all communities who are struggling for equal rights.

Posted February 6th, 2012 - 6:41 am by from Chandigarh, India (Permalink)
Thank you so much to all CSers for your support and love that you have given me. I have got so many reply from CSers to be get motivated and think optimistically, keep the right things in perspective. NOw feeling blessed as I got so many family member in CSers.

Got So many different Idea to heal myself, i.e - Spiritualism, Meditation, Yoga, the best Motivational Videos Ever, Willpower and inner strength are important for every success, spiritual and material success.

I really LOVED your Ideas and working hard on all of them and started making friends who ready to accept me as I am. This is just happned beacuse ALL OF YOU GUYS.

Finally I understood, I am responsible for my life. I can’t keep blaming somebody else for my dysfunction. Life is really about moving on. I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.I came to know there are so many guys who are in worst condition then me. And i'm praying for them daily.

Moving on, is a simple thing, what it leaves behind is hard. That's my new motto.

I'm planing to start working on my all time favorite hobbies (Travelling and Photography) so guys i need your support on this. Lets me know how can i start and plan things if you have any idea please let me know.

I'm planing to travel different country/cities so those who wanna meet or show me your city/country please let me know. I will make a plan to visit. .As i'm not financially strong i will only able to manage Traveling Fare.

IF someone can help me for Photography that would be great.

As far as my Life/career is concerned I have decided to work for L’Arche only. I want to spend my Life helping them and make them happy. At present, very few resources exist to aid those with intellectual disabilities to learn about and actually form satisfying, mutually enriching friendships. I wanna be one of them. if anybody know about about this and can help me to work there Please contatc me ASAP.

AND I"M FEELING BETTER . . . . these days. LOVE YOU ALL :)


Posted May 18th, 2012 - 11:35 pm by from Vancouver, Canada (Permalink)
I just saw this reply; I posted to you, at first, a long time ago. I am glad that you are feeling better!!! Keep your head up, your heart open, and yourself strong. :)

Posted May 2nd, 2012 - 1:36 am from Chilliwack, Canada
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