UPDATE: I AM OUT OF COUNTRY. IM KEEPING THE CS OPEN SO YOU GET SOME FREE INFO. DONT SEND CS REQUEST. THANK YOU.

---------‐---------------

Below is some info because I want to show you the cool places of Albania in case you have nobody to show you around. Places, food, experience:

PLACES:

Tirana: A shithole capital which you should see because it has museums, a free walking tour at 10am in front of the center, bar kafe Komiteti which is supposed to be traditional Albanian kafe but only foreigners go... still cool to visit.

Kruja: So cool, much wow. National hero defended it against the Ottomans (why not: Otto-men) and you should see. Got a bazar and if you have money you can buy a musical instrument. If you had money. If you actually did, you would stay in a hostel, I'll tell you where below.

Coastline: Borsh, Himara, Dhermi, Porto Palermo... Everything. Just google "Bregdeti" and you will fall in love. Camping is nice and legal and you can do it everywhere where you don't see a house around.

Apls: Yes, we have alps. You can hike in them. Visit Valbona, Theth, walk in them.

Berat: The city of 1001 windows.

Gjirokastra: The birthplace of the dictator and the nobel nominated writer who has 0 social skills.

Shkodra: Coming from Montenegro by hitchhiking? Stop there, eat food.

FOOD:
Burek, oh yeah baby. the 30 lek (23 cents) pleasure. Eat it everywhere, in all types of flavours.
Filled peppers (Speca te mbushura)
Filled eggplants (Patelxhane te mbushura)
Bamje (Ladyfingers/Ocra)
Drink Dhalle. Don't ask what it is, surprise yourself.

SLEEP:
Campig is free, do it everywhere you feel like. If random guy with AK47 shows up, it's ok, dont freak out, he is just protecting the weed in the next field. Pretend to be from US, Germany, or Canada if you are black. Pretend to be from there if you are an Albanian traveller also because otherwise they'll think you are a spy.
In case of emergence yell "Albania Very Good" and they will give you free food.
Hostels: Much standard, very comfort, wow. Hostels are rare. In Tirana I reccomend all of them, same poop. Costs from 5-10 euros per night. The south doesnt have a lot. Go and ask last minute places if you want economical place.
Couchsurfing: Are you a russian blonde woman? Small boobs though? No chance. We are very hospitable country, but CS is full of creeps, you know it. They are here for free hollywood adventures. In my opinion, be careful and ask people with at least 20 references.
Apartments: Traveling in more than 1 person? Rent a room, it comes cheap.

Transportation: (Weed is coming below, i know, suspense and shit)
Dont google for the next bus, we aint Germany here. If the driver doesnt feel like, he doesnt start the bus. "The bus starts in the morning" is a real program for the busses, just show up. After midday there arent a lot of busses so travel in the morning.
Hitchhiking/Autostop. Hella yea, do it every time, they will feed you, give you Rakia, hella yea, Rakia, and bring you to wherever you want. Try to not take advantage of it you shitty westerner because we are poor and tip the driver 5 bucks because its a daily salary for him and 30min of work at mcdonalds for you.
Plane. Dont fly from/to Tirana because its expensive, except if its Budapest the other airport.
Always choose Podgorica, Corfu, Skopje, our other albanian airports which happened to be out of the current borders.

Weed: ssshhhhhhh, rule nr 1, you do not talk about weed. just walk around turning your head left and right and look people in the eyes. if they like your blue eyes, they will give you free weed. If not, 3 euros per gram. If you look fat and rich, it's 10/gram because you can afford it and you have no street negotiation skills.

LGBT: You gay? cool. Tell nobody. They will know because you move even when there is no wind. Bonus points if you are a lesbian, that's the most visited category of youcorn in Albania. Dont call people "sweety" or "nice ass" on the road as you risk to be called "gay". Just kidding, they will stone you because we have that saudiarabian influence. Except, again, if you are a lesbian. All lesbans in youcorn do it with men, so it must mean that you like threesomes.
If you are a transexual, pretend to be that one from the austrian eurovision, we will treat you like a VIP.

For any other tip, dont ask me. im doing this for free. If you got offended because you are easily offended, you privilleged piece of s**t, then f**k you, stay at home. Just kidding, you fat western b*stard

Why I’m on Couchsurfing

Couchsurfing is dead. Im here for condoseleidontknowhowtowritethisword

Interests

Much interesting
Very cool
Wow

• music
• drums
• languages
• love

Music, Movies, and Books

Music: Sick Pijamas, Dapa Dupa, Rocky Tijuana, Blast the Last.
Movies: Pain in the Asphalt, Hamamontro, Around the Corner in 80 Seconds.
Books: Never Sleep, Tas Qebap, Yoga Friction.

One Amazing Thing I’ve Done

Didn't speak for 9 months in a row!
(then i said my first world: "mama")

Teach, Learn, Share

Learn everything, it may be useful someday

What I Can Share with Hosts

My toothbrush.

Countries I’ve Visited

Albania, Andorra, Austria, Belgium, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Bulgaria, Croatia, France, Germany, Greece, Hungary, Italy, Kosovo, Liechtenstein, Macedonia, Montenegro, Netherlands, Poland, Portugal, Romania, San Marino, Serbia, Slovakia, Spain, Switzerland, Turkey, Vatican City State

Countries I’ve Lived In

Albania, Greece

•